Diabetes Curveball

Where to begin...

Things have changed quite drastically over the past month. I was just as shocked as everyone else after hearing I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Though this is a manageable disease and quite a common one, the way in which I learned of my diagnosis was a bit of a whirlwind and meant life or death.

For the past few months or so, ever since December 2020, I had been experiencing a variety of symptoms that progressively got worse. Some of which included excessive thirst, dry mouth, blurred vision and fatigue. I continued to go about life just observing and making small changes here and there to see what may help curb or cure these symptoms. Nothing seemed to work. I thought for being a healthy 31 yr old, I should not be so tired all the time. But, considering I work two jobs and the hours they require, I thought the fatigue may just come with the territory. If anyone knows me, I am pretty health conscious and am usually giving advice to others on how one can retain energy through a healthy diet. Come March 8th of 2021 I decided to go get blood tests, after some counsel, to figure out what was going on. Three days later I received a phone call from Patient First with my results. It was in the middle of a work day and I was about to start painting the wall of a hallway with the Lemonade Property Services team. At first, I did not answer the phone but quickly received a text from my sister (my emergency contact) telling me to call Patient First immediately. At this point my senses became heightened and concern began to creep into my mind. Why did they call my emergency contact? I promptly stopped what I was doing and went outside to make the call. After brief introductions the nurse told me they've been trying to get a hold of me because my blood sugar numbers were "out of control." It was paramount that I get to the hospital immediately. She asked, "do you feel tired at all?" I replied, "not really...however, yesterday I was pretty sluggish." I just could not get energy the day before no matter what I ate or how many times I took a break. She then proceeded to explain the danger of the situation..."you could fall into a diabetic coma at any point and not wake up...time is of the essence. You must stop what you're doing and go straight to the ER." Shock, fear and confusion were setting in as I stared, wide eyed, straight ahead not sure what to say. The nurse then asked me to find a pen and paper to write down my test results to give to the doctors and nurses at the hospital. I walked back inside where the rest of the Lemonade team continued to paint. No doubt, they could tell something was wrong. After not being able to find a pen and paper right away, a simple task, panic began to set in and I frustratingly grabbed the new heat gun manual and a Sharpie that was lying on the floor. My hands were shaking as I wrote down the test results...

-Hemogloben A1C : greater than 15.5 (should be below 7 normally)

*(average blood sugar level over the course of 3 months)

-Blood Sugar: fasting glucose 367 (should be between 70-120)

-Urine Glucose at time of visit: 500

Not having a clue what these numbers meant at the time, I tried to stay calm as the nurse also told me I couldn't drive and I needed someone to take me to the hospital, again emphasizing immediate action must be taken. She could tell I was getting choked up and I could hear concern in her voice as we said goodbye. The clock was ticking...I informed the team of the situation and was quickly surrounded by my co-workers...my friends...in prayer. I am so thankful we were all together on this day. The Lord knew what was going to happen and He surrounded me through their love, support and care. As I gathered my things the decision was made on who was going to take me to the hospital and off we went. En route to UPMC Memorial Hospital I made a few phone calls to loved ones as my co-worker expressed encouragement to trust in the Lord through this. As scary and shocking as it was, I did settle down and had a peace about what was happening before we even made it to our destination. No doubt, my Savior was near and was reminding me of recent messages at church and Scriptural truths I had been studying. I kept replaying in my mind what the nurse said on the phone..."you could fall into a diabetic coma and not wake up..." Not wake up?! What?! Feeling relatively fine physically I was having a hard time believing I was truly on the brink of possibly dying. I then thought of Paul in the Bible. His testimony was fresh on my mind since we've been studying him at church and how he was the New Testament type of Christ. Fascinating. He said in Philippians 1:21...

"For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

In that very moment in the car I said to myself, "OK Lord, me too. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." I wasn't afraid then nor am I afraid today of dying. The peace of God that passeth all understanding was with me. As we approached the entrance of the emergency room I was promptly checked in and led to a room. Thankfully, UPMC allowed for one "support person" to be with me the entire time plus I was able to have a second visitor. My sister Kelsey was on her way and soon joined me in the hospital room. Once the preliminary procedures were finished I was wheeled up to the ICU to be put on an insulin drip as I was in Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA state). I was told I would be staying at the hospital for 2-3 days, to my surprise, in order to bring my glucose numbers down and stabilized. I have always enjoyed learning about the medical field and weirdly enough I like seeing what goes on in a hospital. So, here I was with a backstage pass to the ICU. I thought it pretty cool, despite the circumstances.

After settling in to my new room, I was hooked up to what felt like every monitor imaginable. Heart monitor, breathing monitor, blood pressure cuff, IV...and then later a second IV. I believe it was the breathing monitor that lit up my finger a bright orange. I looked like ET. However, I have to say the beds in ICU are much more comfortable than the ones downstairs. Then began a parade of medical personnel in and out of my room for the next 48+hours - nurses, IV specialist, doctor, endocrinologist, nutritionist and others whom of which I've forgotten their titles. I do have to give it to the ICU nurses though; they were on point! Each one was very kind, patient and helpful. They understood the overwhelming aspect of this diagnosis and reminded me my body needed rest and has gone through a lot. My first night in the hospital consisted of a nurse coming in every hour to check my blood sugar and do some blood work every few hours. It was a long night. My electrolytes were also way off and they decided to first try to give me magnesium pills. Apparently the pills did not accomplish the job as they had to give me another IV to administer the magnesium. It took three nurses and four attempts before they finally found a blood vessel that worked. I was was pretty severely dehydrated and my veins were just too small to handle another IV. I was glad when they stopped attempting as the last try was pretty painful. It wasn't to any fault of the nurses. My tiny veins just posed for great difficulty even to the most experienced of nurses. It was at 3am they finally succeeded by putting the IV in my left hand. By this point my veins had been hydrated and become "juicy" as the nurse put it. Unfortunately, magnesium is not so easy on the veins. From 3am to 5am I was given the magnesium and this one burned for the first hour. Potassium was next. I drank it via a tall cup diluted with water. I had to do this twice in the very early part of the morning. Let's just say I'll stick to coffee as my morning beverage of choice...

I made it. I survived the first night with much interrupted sleep and welcomed the morning sun as it beamed through my window. I was exhausted. My Aunt, who was my second visitor, came around 9:30am. With her background in nursing she was a clear mind that helped me take in all the information I was given by the nurses and nutritionist. I felt like I was in a college crash course - Diabetes 101. Both she and my sister were a comfort to me and a huge help during the entirety of my hospital stay. I also had help outside of the hospital. Many text messages and phone calls from friends and family who voiced they would be there for me in a heartbeat had it not been for the Covid restrictions keeping them out. I felt the love of many during this trial. And my Lord never left my side either...His constant presence whether it be through fire or flood will forever be my stabilizing foundation in life. Once Kelsey relieved my Aunt in the afternoon, she came bearing gifts from a good friend of mine and her 5 girls. I so enjoyed reading her card and leafing through a new Magnolia Journal, along with discovering the many pictures and gifts that were crafted by the girls. Holly's card had a couple verses in it that caught my attention and brought much comfort...

"Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life." - Psalm 42:8

"...for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."

-Psalm 42:11

By Friday night into Saturday morning my glucose numbers had come down. Though they were still irregular with peaks and valleys I was out of the DKA state, thankfully. Friday night was much easier than Thursday night. I did not have to be woken up every hour and I felt I was able to get some much needed rest. By Saturday morning I was feeling much better and was granted permission to detach all the monitors along with the insulin drip. I felt free! I no longer had what felt like 48 cords to navigate around and keep from tangling. I was looking forward to calling in my breakfast and beginning the day with a coffee and hope of being discharged. Despite what people say about hospital food, UPMC did a great job and I thought the food was pretty good...the coffee was especially, to my surprise. After breakfast, I enjoyed the quiet time in my room and began writing this blog post while reflecting on God's protection in the recent days. I then heard a familiar voice say my name. It was a friend from church who works in the UPMC custodial department, Karen. She heard I was in the ICU and sweetly made time in her schedule to come visit me. My heart was touched with her concern and motherly way of talking to me. She then prayed with me and gave me a hug before she left. I so appreciated that and saw her in her element. The hospital is truly her mission field and she does it well. In a time where friends and family are not permitted in patients rooms, she has full access and never passes up an opportunity to encourage or tell someone about Yahweh Ropheka - the One who heals both physically and spiritually.

I felt more confident even though I still had many more questions and the unknown of what life will look like from this point forward was yet to be realized. My Aunt arrived around 10:30 and I introduced her to my new and final nurse who later finalized my discharge and escorted us back through the halls and out into a beautiful sunny day. The cool air and warmth of the sun were a refreshing welcome after being inside during the first two "spring-like" days of the year. This seemingly miniscule transition held a heavy contrast. A few days prior I had entered the Emergency Room doors with quite a different perspective - urgency, fear, confusion, on the brink of falling into a coma, and possible death. And now I was entering back into the real world with something new - A disease called Diabetes, new found knowledge, new perspective and a reality check of just how fragile life is. In a matter of a few days my life had changed.

This thing called insulin became an essential need to survive. Food has become a prominent focus on a daily basis. Things like meters, lancets, glucose tabs and snacks have become key items I never leave the house without again. For being someone who always hated math, I am now very calculated and driven by numbers. Time, carb counting, insulin dosages and checking my blood sugar at minimum four times a day. I am constantly looking at food labels as I try to find a balance between carbs, calories, protein, saturated fats and sodium while cutting out all added sugars. Thankfully, nutrition has always been an interest of mine and I do enjoy learning more about how foods affect the body and mind for the better. But that goes without saying I did have my time of mourning when I had to clean out my house of foods I could no longer have. Yes, at one point I cried over a box of cookies I was really looking forward to eating with a cup of coffee. Speaking of coffee, I just found out about the new Coca-Cola flavor that includes a delicious, warm taste of coffee! It became my new favorite flavor of the original, classic soda...I called it Coke coffee. Public events and get togethers pose for some difficulty as I often cannot participate in eating the same foods. I am learning to find compromises and time my meals/snacks accordingly as I so enjoy participating in social events. I know this will all get easier the closer I get to fine tuning my insulin plan and dosage. In the mean time, I'll be looking up new recipes and healthier alternatives that only help the situation. It's a good thing I like healthy foods, but it still would be nice to have a piece of pizza...I am so thankful I have these resources and access to insulin. Both healthy food and insulin have become my medicine but ultimately it is the Lord who sustains me. Just like my mother used to say...she lived with ALS for 14 years with her body growing weaker by the day and yet she gave every bit of credit to her Savior Jesus Christ for sustaining her. After all, she was only expected to live for 5 years.

My first week back at home came with its defeats and victories as I was to hit the ground running in managing something I didn't fully understand yet. It didn't help that I couldn't see! My vision was terribly blurry for about a week and a half. Thankfully, there was no nerve damage in my eyes so it was just my body adjusting to new sugar levels. I was legally not able to drive and needed someone to be with me almost everyday. I realized more than ever how essential my eyes are to absolutely everything! I couldn't even read labels of what I was eating, let alone try to read the small print in the nutrition facts. I was sent home with many packets of information from the hospital but couldn't read them till about two weeks later. Even entertainment... Youtube? Netflix? Nope! I couldn't see near or far. You can imagine what it was like to put makeup on! Even with 20/20 vision sometimes blending can be difficult. I have no idea what I looked like over the course of that week and a half. I'm sure my eyebrows were out of control! I have such sweet and understanding friends and family...Slowly but surely my eyesight began to clear. I wore my "readers" for the majority of that time and beyond as they began to help with the added use of a large magnifying glass. I quickly acquired the name Sherlock as I whipped out my magnifying glass and squinted one eye to be able to just slightly make out the words in front of me. This was both difficult and comical as I continued to teach my students online through VIPKid. What was once used as a funny prop now became an essential tool. Fortunately, most of my returning students are pretty good at reading English.

All in all I have to say I am tremendously blessed. The Lord protected me in a major way and provided much help through a variety of people and resources. Thanks to members of my church family I came home to a clean house, a dinner all ready and prepared that I could eat according to my new restrictions and laundry had been done. I had received many cards, text messages and meals in the coming days. I had a few faithful chauffeurs that dropped everything to drive me where I needed to go and also spent much time with me at home while I couldn't see. I told my Aunt I single handedly brought her back into the workforce as my personal RN! The teacher in my sister Kelsey organized and labeled all of those packets from the hospital and she typed up a chart that would help me keep track of my blood sugar readings. Holly helped me manage insurance and financial needs and came to my aid one day at the eye doctor. I needed to pick out frames for a pair of glasses I needed...but I couldn't see what they looked like. Had she not come, who knows what style I'd be stuck walking around in. My family both near and far were a support via phone calls, encouraging words and one very special gift. Honestly, the list could go on and I apologize for not being able to write them all down! It was my Lord that lovingly chose all of you to help meet my needs...You know who you are and I can't thank you enough.

If I'm to draw a quick parallel, it would be in reference to the juxtaposition between my entering the hospital and my exit. I entered with a condition unbeknownst to me. A serious one...one that if left untreated would have killed me. One I would not have been able to treat myself. I needed professional help. After identifying the problem and given the proper treatment I was able to leave stable, with a new life and with hope as my education of said condition continued. Something I'd have to manage and take care of the rest of my life. Diligence, patience and discipline are just a few words that come to mind when I think of this lifelong journey with diabetes. These restrictions can often be thought of in a negative connotation as a way of losing freedom when really it is within boundaries we actually find freedom. Freedom to thrive in a way that promotes life. Did you catch it? Do you see the parallel? I'm talking about the spiritual side of life. After all, we humans are made up of body, soul AND spirit. Might you be walking around with an unknown condition that if left untreated will also lead to death? The Bible calls this condition sin. Something every human being is born with and has caused an infinite number of fatalities ever since the beginning of mankind. Again, a condition that cannot be treated by our own mechanisms or knowledge. This too calls for professional help in a major way. But be encouraged...the Master Physician is at hand! One must not only realize their own condition of sin but then be open to accept the cure - the blood sacrifice of our Lord, Jesus Christ. He died so that we might live! An unbelievable opportunity to gain eternal life in Heaven with the Almighty God. A sure foundation of life after death. A never ending, sustaining grace to live life here on earth in the mean time. A confidence in Christ that no physical ailment can shake. Though we continue to live life with our sin nature we diligently and patiently move forward day by day as we learn of Christ - the antidote to our condition of sin. We discipline ourselves via a daily dying to the flesh using the greatest resource, His Holy Word. We discover boundaries, not restrictions, that keep us and allow for a life full of freedom. Despite society's mantra to "follow your heart"... seemingly a picture of complete freedom, it is in fact not so. Rather, you are bound...a slave...to your own desires. And heaven forbid your desires are not met or fulfilled in the way you'd like, the beast of rage and selfishness trample everyone around you, including yourself, in acts of carelessness.

Jeremiah 17:9 - "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

Without Christ the basis of our desires is self. But with Christ, the basis of our desires is to honor Him in all that we do. Considering we humans have roller coasters for emotions I would gather to say, based on my own experience, our desires follow the same pattern. However, with Christ that weight is lifted and true purpose is born. My purpose in this life is to honor God an help others in any way I can. To be used of Christ to meet the needs of my fellow mankind. Just like Jesus did during the years of His ministry here on earth. He not only aided many in their physical needs, but He healed them of their spiritual need. He healed me of my condition of sin and I am ever so thankful.

Psalm 8:3-9 - "When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honor. Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou has put all things under his feet. All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field; The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas. O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!" - We are his most valuable creation!

2 Peter 3:9 - "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."